We all know that logically, taking time for ourselves is important - for me it is a necessity to ensure I keep my sanity, especially when I am dealing with some serious kid meltdowns. But the phrase - take some time for yourself is easier said than done. I mean, does anyone else feel like getting this magical “self-care” is just another thing on the evergrowing to-do list?

It sounds ridiculous but actually planning self-care can sometimes be anxiety-inducing for me, which is the exact opposite feeling I am trying to get!

If like me, you know you need time for yourself but you find it difficult to actually find the time (I think us busy mums juggling all the things can understand me right now) here are my not so perfect tips, on how to take time for yourself when you have no time! I’m no expert on self-care tips but if you’re a mum struggling to balance everything some of these things might help.

1. Try and pair things together.

Ok maybe this isn’t ideal as it’s not completely focusing on yourself but let me explain with a couple of examples…

Ok cleaning - not the most fun job in the world but it is a necessity. I stick on a podcast, an audiobook, or dance and sing away to my favourite songs. Cleaning the toilet isn’t exciting, but listening to Parenting Hell the podcast can make me laugh while I do it. I also love listening to podcasts where I feel like I’m learning, I find it difficult to sit down and read a book but I can pop my earbuds in and listen to something while I fold the washing.

Other things to pair…

Ok, so last week I really wanted to paint my nails. I love wearing nail varnish but I have been struggling to find the time. For me, painting my nails allows me to focus on something and I get that great achievement at the end of beautiful nails - for me this is self-care. While I enjoy it, the idea of having half an hour to take that time for myself to do it just hasn’t felt achievable. Or, I feel guilty for doing it as I should be doing something else with my time that’s more useful.

So here’s what I did… I organised a time for my mum to pop over for a catch-up and I decided to do my nails at the same time. Result! I had a lovely social interaction with my mum, I got to paint my nails - yay self-care - oh and I had a lovely glass of sauvignon. Brilliant!

2. Have a bath before you go to bed.

Now having a bath can sometimes make me feel a level of anxiety because it means I am just lying in a bath, not able to do anything with my time - surely I can’t just sit there doing nothing. In fact, I can and every time I do, I feel so relaxed - I might listen to something, watch a show or just sit quietly.

The other way to see a bath is that it actually improves your wellbeing by helping you sleep. There is evidence showing that a hot bath 1 - 2 hours before you go to bed can help you sleep better. So you can unwind before bed, getting some time to yourself but also know you will get a better night's sleep as well.

On top of this, a bath can help with any aches and pains you might have. Working at a computer, having to pick up children, carrying a car seat, or breastfeeding in awkward positions can cause your shoulders and neck to gain a lot of tension. Relaxing in the bath will be great for your mind but also great for your body. And if that fails you can always book a Swedish Massage with me (ha shameless plug!).

3. Going for a walk with your children.

So I am lucky to live right by a cemetery - it's quiet and has flat paths for walking/riding bikes. Now yes I am out with my energetic children (not really time for me!) but I can use this to also enjoy being out in the fresh air. They can run ahead and I can take a couple of breaths.

If you have a baby pop them in the pram and go for a walk, if they’re awake hopefully they’ll enjoy the sensory element, and if they’re asleep even better. I once parked Aidan up at the Rye asleep and had a lie down on the grass, it was heaven. If you’re walking with your baby it’s also a perfect time to listen to something or catch up with a friend.

4. Get up before your kids…

Ok, this may be an unpopular one. But my kids wake up at 5am Sophie, you want me to get up earlier??? (I am in these trenches with my 3 year old at the moment). Ok, this might not work for everyone, especially if you’re up in the night and you live with early risers, but hear me out. I find that moment of peace in the morning is heavenly - I might do a workout, I might do some work, or I might just sit in the kitchen with my coffee.

It’s not ideal, but one day you will have more time, apparently - I mean I keep being told my kids will sleep in eventually… please?

5. Take a nap.

If your baby sleeps in their cot I can see why you might feel like you need to run around doing things in the house, but stop. Even if it is just one nap occasionally- enjoy having a rest and catching up on a bit of sleep. Failing that watch something, read something - do something that gives you joy. With my second child, I try to do housework and chores when she is awake, She was quite chilled as a baby watching me, and now she’s almost two she wants to get involved or is happy playing with something. My kitchen is clean, the washing is out, Nora is napping - I can now enjoy a cuppa and Selling Sunset (or some other trash) - winning.

6. If you have a partner sit down with them and work out a way you can carve out some time for yourself.

I find that when I stay in the house the kids come and find me. Trying to explain to them mummy is having some alone time doesn’t seem to go down well! For me, heading out for a run can do wonders. If you’re breastfeeding and feel comfortable leaving your baby, step away and give yourself some guilt-free breathing space. If you do not have a partner and you’re a single parent I am in awe. If you have friends or family close by who can help you, perhaps it’s worth reaching out and having that conversation.

And there we have it, these are some of the things that help me take time for myself when it feels impossible. Just little pockets of time that I can work into my day to keep me a bit more centered and hopefully the ability to survive the bedtime madness!